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[
May 19th [2006] 13:12
]

lizzieunit

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[
May 17th [2006] 21:44
]
"Ugh why are you freaking out over absolutely nothing, Jessi?" yelled bishup from across the living room.
"It's not NOTHING to me, Bishup. It's not at all, okay??" I screamed as I collapsed onto the filthy old couch. Why doesn't he realize how much his decisions effect me? Why doesn't he realize that I'm absolutely dying inside right now. I am so numb that I've actually convinced my organs to start rotting away inside of me.
"You know how much I hate that. Especially when it comes to people I really care about. And damnit, Bishop I love you." As that left my lips Bishups eyes bolted up at me and his expression suddenly turned so soft.
"I love you too Jessi. Really, I do. But sometimes I just can't handle all of these rules you lay down for me. You're my girlfriend, not my mother..." He mumbled while looking at his palms resting in his lap.
"If you want me to be your mother I can quit making out with you on a whim." I grinned.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Jessi. Me and my mom have had many makeout sessions." Bishup winked at me and then made his way over to the couch to plop down next to me.
"Babygirl why are we fighting over this? I realize you hate when I drink but I'm just with my buddies and it's not like I'm going to go hook up with some hotties. You're the only hottie on my mind." he giggled at me and kissed my nose.
"I don't care what you're doing or who you're doing when you're drunk. I don't want you to be drunk, that's it. If you want to go get fucked up with your buddies then go right ahead, but don't expect me to be here when you get back." I don't think he's even listening to me anymore. He's wrapping his arms around me and kissing my forehead.
"You can't hug and kiss this away, Bishup. Not everything works like that." I pushed his hands off of me and folded my arms.
"You know what, Jessi? I'm sick of your shit. I don't have to answer to you. This is bullshit. All of my friends have girlfriends and they don't freak out like you do. I'm going out, and I don't give a fuck if you're here when I get back. I'd be better off anyways." shouted Bishup as he slammed the door. He made the walls shake. Or maybe my body is just convulsing so hard that the entire room is quivering. I dragged myself off of the couch onto the floor and curled up under the coffee table. I know he didn't mean what he said. One of his buddies will bring him back here puking his guts out and he'll love me again. My dog sadie started licking my feet. Why can't Bishup and I have the same kind of relationship that I have with Sadie? I don't have to say anything, she just knows I'm not okay and she does whatever she can to make me feel better. She obeys me and loves me unconditionally. Listen to me, I'm comparing my relationship with my boyfriend to the one I have with my dog. And better yet, I'm favoring my love for Sadie. As I giggled I could taste my salty tears in the corner of my mouth. I don't want to hurt anymore. I buried my face in Sadie's fur and fell asleep.

"Guhhh what time is it?" I whined to nobody. I rolled over and looked at the digital clock on the cable box.
"My god, it's 2:00 in the morning. I've been out for so long." I lifted myself from the floor and ran to the bedroom to see if Bishup had returned. I threw myself into the empty bed, realizing that he was still out. I probably haven't crossed his mind once. I rolled over and hear the front door open. I sat up on the bed as Bishup shot from teh bedroom door straight into the bathroom and into the shower. You know what that means...Bishup had sex with someone and doesn't want me to notice or something. I clunked into the bathroom and lifted myself up onto the counter to sit down.
"Soooo where'd you go tonight?" I asked him as I watched his sillhouette.
"Out." He huffed as he scrubbed his arms.
"What'd you do?"
"What? What's up with the fuckin' third degree, Jessi. I went out with some friends and nothing happened." He's still scrubbing at his arms.
"...I was just curious, Bishup. You don't have to snap at me. I've been waiting up for you all night. I was worried sick." What a lie. I slept like a baby under the coffee table. Bishup turned the shower off and yanked the towel from the shower door.
"Are you afraid of being naked in front of me or something?" I stared at him standing in his towel through the steam.
"Why do you have to be such a needy bitch, Jessi. I'm tired. I'm going to bed." he walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. after a few minutes i pushed myself from the counter and followed him into the bedroom. The lights were off and he was already in bed. I slid myself in behind him and wrapped my arms around him.
"I wish you would let me love you." I whispered into his ear.
"I wish I could tell you what I did tonight." He whispered back.
"...Why can't you, Bishup?"
"Jessi please...just hold me." His voice cracked. Bishup Banket is crying.
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[
April 15th [2006] 21:07
]
dinosaurdoesrawr: o.O
dinosaurdoesrawr: did you hear that?
s t emanual: urd
s t emanual: he's on the roof
s t emanual: but
s t emanual: not the bus roof
s t emanual: YOU'RE ROOG
dinosaurdoesrawr: my roof?
s t emanual: roog
dinosaurdoesrawr: ROOG
dinosaurdoesrawr: AHAHA
s t emanual: that killed it
dinosaurdoesrawr: it did
dinosaurdoesrawr: haha





lolol
nukka<33
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[
March 29th [2006] 17:42
]
urgh
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[
March 16th [2006] 21:24
]

i love melly

& micahel.

<3

they complete meeee.

weee!
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[
February 23rd [2006] 20:22
]
haha i'm a toe head.
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[
February 5th [2006] 19:29
]
i'm going to delete this lj in a matter of days.

dinos_go_rawrrr

add it
then comment asking to be added

not a hard conceptttt

kthnxbyee

ihateyou =]
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[
January 28th [2006] 21:56
]

dinos_go_rawrrr

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[
January 18th [2006] 19:31
]
WOW; Imma fuck up.
WOW; Imma fuck up.
WOW; Imma fuck up.
WOW; Imma fuck up.
WOW; Imma fuck up.
WOW; Imma fuck up.
WOW; Imma fuck up.
WOW; Imma fuck up.
WOW; Imma fuck up.
WOW; Imma fuck up.
WOW; Imma fuck up.
WOW; Imma fuck up.
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i felt like writing; then i didnt so its shorrrt. yo. [
January 18th [2006] 15:17
]
So as I lay my eyes on you
I see all the peices
Peices left behind
That I pick up
And put back together
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